DWOAH: Ryan Haywood vs H20 Delirious

Deadliest warriors of all history

Ryan Haywood vs H20 Delirious

Don't be friends with these mad bastards

Ryan ‘the Mad King’ Haywood info:

Height: 6 foot 1 (Minecraft character)

Weight: Roughly 200lbs (Minecraft character)

Weapons: Diamond Sword, Edgar his Guard Cow

Armour: Full Diamond Armour

Strengths: Thanks to his Diamond Sword and Armour Ryan and both dish out and take a lot of damage as well as being able to fight with back up from Edgar.

Weakness: Despite his Armour being extremely durable it is not unbreakable and without it Ryan can only take so many hits before dying.


H20 Delirious info:

Height: 6 foot (GTA Character)

Weight: Roughly 160lbs (GTA Character)

Weapons: Golf Club, AK-47, Grenades

Armour: Bulletproof Vest

Strengths: Complete lack of sanity allowing him to kill without mercy or regret. Great skill with firearms and melee weapons and durable thanks to his Bulletproof Vest.

Weaknesses: Being only human Delirious is far from immortal only able to take a few hits before falling.


Battle begin!

Ryan let out a content sigh as he relaxed on his golden throne, it had been another good day for the Mad King’s rule over Achievement City and as the sun slowly set he silently planned for what he intended to be done tomorrow. “Dark clouds coming in, must be a storm coming it, it is the second day after all” he commented and as if on cue the sky opened and heavy rain began to fall making his Diamond Armour glisten with moisture.

Shifting to rise from his throne to turn in for the nice Ryan froze as he noticed a figure standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to his throne, a figure that he didn’t recognize “who goes there? Who dares trespass within my city?” the Mad King called out placing his hand on the hilt of his Sword.

“I like your crown” Delirious called back leisurely rapping his Golf Club against his hand.

“Uuuhh thanks….I guess?”.

“I want it”.

“Yeaaaahhh not gonna happen, how do you get in here anyway? Where are my minion?” Ryan inquired confused as to how the intruder managed to just stroll up to his throne without incident.

“Don’t worry about ‘em” Delirious replied with a sinister chuckle.

(Back in Achievement City)

“Ok….what the fuck just happened?!” Geoff groaned as he pulled himself up from the heap he had been left in, the visor of his Master Chief helmet cracked from a strong blow from Delirious’s Golf Club.

“How the fuck should I know?!” Michael retorted as he hauled himself through the broken window of his house “who even was that guy?!”.

“I can’t feel my legs…..” Jack whined from the hole under his house.

“Gavin’s the one who turned up with the guy!” Michael added as he relocated his shoulder.

“I thought we was going to play Golf with us or something!” the Creeper Clad Brit retorted not moving on inch as he laid out flat on his front in the middle of the City Logo covered in bruises.

“There’s no Golf in Minecraft you fucking idiot!”.

“Well I know that know don’t I?!”.

“Guys I think my beard is bleeding…..”

(Back at the throne)

“First Ray leaves and then this shit happens, note to self, have Gavin executed” Ryan sighed standing up and drawing his Sword before making his way down the steps towards Delirious “you really wanna do this? I’m the King for a reason you know”.

“Not for long you ain’t” Delirious retorted with a mad laugh before raising his Golf Club high charging at Ryan with a wild battle cry. The swing was easily sidestepped by Ryan though causing the Club to strike the thrones stepped “stay still damn it!” the masked madman snapped taking another wild swing to which Ryan simply ducked under it.

“This guy took the others out? Damn I must have been getting soft on them lately” Ryan pondered as he readied his Sword using it to block another hurried Golf Club swing before shunting Delirious back making him stumble and land flat on his ass.

“God damn it!” Delirious cursed as he landed hard in the dirt, growling as he forced himself up onto his knees he then grinned maliciously under his hockey mask reaching into his hoodie to pull out a Grenade “time to go boom bitch!” he shouted throwing the explosive straight at Ryan’s chest to which it exploded upon contact with his Armour.

Shielding his eyes from the explosion Delirious grinned wider expecting to find just a charred corpse when the smoke cleared but to his surprise Ryan still stood strong, his Armour just a little scuffed from the blast “you’re gonna have to do better than that bitch” the Mad King smirked evilly as he started to advance on Delirious, his Sword poised and ready to draw blood.

“Shit!” Delirious cursed starting to backpedal throwing more Grenades as he went, each explosive detonating on contact with Ryan’s Armour but only acting to slow him down slightly as the Diamonds covering his body absorbed every blast. Soon enough though he found himself backed up against one of the walls that surrounded the throne with Ryan stood right in front of him, his Armour smoking and blackened but his skin underneath completely unharmed.

“Now do you see what happens when you challenge the King? It was a good effort though, that last Grenade almost stung a little” Ryan sneered as he pressed the tip of his Sword to Delirious’s chest “try not to bleed too much, I just grew this grass and I don’t want it stained, the last time Gavin died here it like a mark for a week” he added before drawing the Sword back ready to ram it forward.

THUNK!

Freezing before his Blade met Delirious’s chest Ryan suddenly felt his shoulder get a lot lighter….and then his other one….and then his legs. Piece by piece his Armour started to fall apart revealing Ryan’s normal clothes underneath “….uh oh…” he gasped as the last of his Armour fell, looking back to Delirious he could almost see the grin before his mask before the madman slugged him hard in the face sending him stumbling back.

Falling to the dirt Ryan grunted as he turned around to find Delirious now stood over him cracking his knuckles “not so tough without your Armour are you motherfucker?” he sniggered before kicking Ryan hard in the gut making the Mad King wince before his Sword was kicked aside out of his reach.

With his opponent now defenceless on the ground Delirious waged a fully assault on him pulling out his Golf Club again before starting to viciously wail on him stomping on him as well between every few swings “you thought you could take me?! Huh?! You thought you could fucking take me on?!” he roared as his Golf Club barely missed vital points with every swing.

“Gah! Ow! Son of a!” Ryan grunted and cried with pain as each blow rained down on him, his skin and bones bruising as agony filled his body “Edgar! Save your King!!!”.

As Ryan’s shouted echoed through the air a loud braying sound roared from under the golden throne, the ground under them starting to shake as the back of the throne room tore open “you thought you could fucking win?! You can’t beat me! I’m Delirious out of my mind!.....Is that a cow?” Delirious continued before screaming as he was suddenly smashed into front the side by Edgar, the large Minotaur-esque monster bellowing as he sent the madman flying.

Hitting the wall hard Delirious just managed to roll out of the way as Edgar’s Sword slammed into the ground next to him “what the fuck?!” he gasped as he staggered to his feet turning his head to dodge another Sword swing.

“Welcome to the King’s game reserve” Ryan smirked as he heaved himself to his feet dusting himself off “and this is my prized cow”.

“Moo motherfucker” Edgar rumbled in acknowledgement, his eyes a deep red glaring straight at Delirious as the masked man draw his AK-47.

“Well that cow’s gonna be burgers when I’m done with it!” Delirious barked back cocking his Assault Rifle and beginning to fire upon the Minotaur, his bullets bouncing right off of Edgar’s Diamond Armour as it charged straight at him again. Lifting his AK to soften the hit Delirious was still winded when Edgar’s horned were locked against his Rifle, securing his feet to the dirt Delirious then started to push back grunting under his breath as he found Edgar borderline unmovable, his arms burning with the strain as his AK creaked threatening to fall to pieces under the pressure.

With a sharp turn of his head Edgar then launched Delirious straight off of his feet sending him flying straight towards the throne where he landed hard against the solid gold stairs “fuck! This is NOT how I wanted to end up on the throne!” he groaned cracking his neck before quickly raising his AK again to open fire at Edgar as the Minotaur charged up the stairs at him. Once again the bullets merely ricocheted off of Edgars armour but when the beast reached Delirious one stray bullet managed to pass under the Diamond Helmet striking Edgar straight in the eye.

Bellowing in agony Edgar staggered back clutching at his eye before losing his footing crashing back down the thrones steps to land in a crumpled heap holding his destroyed eye socket. Smirking as he reloaded his AK Delirious then holstered the Rifle redrawing his Golf Club as he made his way towards the Minotaur taking a heavy swing at him scoring him right in the face as he tried to stand back up breaking his muzzle.

Still braying and bellowing in pain Edgar swung his Sword wildly in a desperate attempt to keep protecting his Master but with the loss of his eye his vision was too impaired for him to land a good swing. Dodging with total ease Delirious then swung his Club up between Edgars legs making the Minotaur roar with pain and crash to his knees before the masked madman pulled back and swung the Golf Club down into his destroyed eye socket scoring him straight in the brain silencing him near instantly.

Kicking Edgars corpse off of his Club Delirious gave a cold smirk as he took a moment to admire his kill “now where’s that other bitch?” he pondered realizing that Ryan hadn’t stepped in throughout his entire fight with Edgar.

“RIGHT HERE!” Ryan roared as his Sword suddenly tore through Delirious’s body from his back straight through his chest “what? You actually expected the King to play fair?”.

“You…mother…fucker…” Delirious wheezed as blood poured from his chest wound and from under his mask as he coughed it up, gagging as Ryan then pulled the Sword out of his chest causing him to fall to his knees “that crown….was gonna be mine”.

“Yeah well it isn’t going to be now” Ryan smirked walking around to stand in front of his down opponent using the tip of his Sword to lift his chin forcing him to look up at him “I gotta give you credit though, now I need to find a new Edgar, maybe I’ll just skin the old one and make Gavin wear it, I dunno….” he pondered before suddenly raising his Sword and bringing it down decapitating Delirious instantly “great, he left blood stains on the grass”.

Winner: Ryan ‘The Mad King’ Haywood

Ok this was a battle I wrote simply for shits and giggles, yes Ryan had an unfair advantage by having Edgar fight for him but he’s Ryan, would he honestly fight fairly? Anyway this was a battle that had kept popping up in my head and I thought I might as well right it. Besides it’s also kind of fair, whilst a GTA character has much better fire power a Minecraft character can take a lot more damage which kinda evens it out.