If Dragon age: origins and Dragon age 2 characters worked together banter
Loghain and Varric
(After Loghain is recruited)
Varric: so King Cailan’s murderer is now helping us fight the Blight, sounds like something from one of my novels
Loghain: what are you prattling on about Dwarf?
Varric: first you killed Cailan, then you spent several weeks trying to kill us and now you’re forced to help us, sounds like a bad thriller novel
Loghain: first of all I did not kill Cailan, his own stupidity and bravado caused his death and second you brought it upon yourself by siding with the Warden, I was only doing what was best for my country
Varric: right so letting your king die and ignoring the Blight was best for Ferelden? And I thought the way Kirkwall was run was crazy
Loghain: stop that!
Varric: stop what now?
Loghain: you’re taking notes again, I know it’s about me
Varric: little full of yourself aren’t you?
Loghain: don’t play dumb Dwarf, I found your manuscripts at camp, I know you’ve been writing about me, the ‘mad tyrant of Ferelden’
Varric: oh that! That wasn’t about you, that character has a different name
Loghain: Noghain? You changed one letter Dwarf, you must think me a fool to not notice
Varric: I have no idea what you’re talking about
Loghain: *annoyed growl*
Loghain: what is with you and those insufferable nicknames Dwarf?
Loghain: you were talking to the whore back at camp and I heard you discussing a so called nickname for me
Varric: and you’re wondering what amazing name I’ve bestowed upon you
Loghain: hardly, I wish for you to stop
Varric: don’t worry, there won’t be any more of such discussions
Varric: no problem……Greasy
Loghain: I detest you Dwarf
Loghain: *sighs* I know I’m going to regret this but I have to know, why Greasy?
Varric: have you seen your hair? You could wring it out and sell what falls out as oil
Loghain: my hair is not greasy
Varric: tell that to your armour, your shoulder plates are shinier than the rest of your armour for a reason
Loghain: I knew I’d regret bringing it up, just stop calling me that
Varric: I will when you take a bath
(Random banter if Isabela is in the party)
Varric: twenty silver
Varric: fifty silver
Isabela: nuh uh
Varric: five gold pieces?
Loghain: what are you two prattling on about?
Varric: I’m trying to find how much it would cost to get Isabela to actually sleep with you
Isabela: I’ve told you Varric, even I have standards
Loghain: you will be the death of me Dwarf
Varric: consider yourself lucky it’s me and not what Isabela has going in between her legs whenever Anders isn’t around to fix it
Isabela: I’m right here Varric!
Varric: I’m just teasing Rivaini
Isabela: yeah but still
Loghain: *exhausted sigh*
(Random banter after Loghain as spoken to Merrill)
Varric: Bianca and I would like a word with you Greasy
Loghain: what is it Dwarf?
Varric: you calling Daisy a savage, don't do it
Loghain: I don't see how me addressing the Elf for what she is affects you in any way
Varric: it does, it pisses me off, call her Savage one more time and Bianca will be giving you her opinion, her very fast moving pointy opinion
Loghain: and I was always told that Dwarves hated Elves
(Random banter in Orzammar)
Loghain: Dwarf, would you kindly tell your folk to stop staring at me?
Varric: my folk? Oh yes, since I’m a Dwarf I know every single Dwarf personally, we all gather once a year to tell each other stories about what it’s like to be four feet tall
Loghain: surely you must know some of them!
Varric: never seen these people in my life, I was born a surfacer Greasy, this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in Orzammar, Bartrand was born down here though so you’re better off asking him if you ever meet him but I doubt you’d ever like too, nobody does
Loghain: can you at least tell me why they insist on staring so much?!
Varric: not many humans are allowed in Orzammar so you’re a rare sight, plus all that grease in your hair you’re probably being stalked to be mugged and harvested for lamp oil
Loghain: I shouldn’t have asked
Varric: no you should not have
(During the final battle)
Varric: well Loghain, there’s Darkspawn everywhere, Denerim is in flames and oh look in the sky! An Archdemon! Is this still not a true Blight?
Loghain: I was wrong….
Varric: huh? I’m sorry I didn’t quite hear that
Loghain: I was wrong ok?! Write it down in your novels or even in your kinds damn Shaperate, I was wrong!
Varric: well Greasy I must say I never thought I’d hear you say those words
Loghain: just shut up and keep fighting so we can end this Blight!