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If Dragon age: origins and Dragon age 2 characters worked together banter

Loghain and Sebastian

(After Loghain is recruited)
Sebastian: so Loghain, it’s an honour to meet the great Hero of the River Dane in person
Loghain: really now? I must say that’s the nicest thing any of you has said to me, normally it’s all accusations of murder
Sebastian: oh I know you killed King Cailan
Loghain: then why is it an honour to meet me then?
Sebastian: despite your sin you were still the hero that helped save Ferelden from Orlesian tyranny, I just hope your actions as a Grey Warden help you redeem yourself in the eyes of the Maker and your people
Loghain: I’m sure the Maker understands my actions and deems them as necessary as I did
(If Aveline is in the party)
Aveline: murder is never necessary
Loghain: neither was dooming your men to an unwinnable battle
Sebastian: there is no point fighting over what has already been done, Loghain can still find redemption as long as he sticks to the path of righteousness

(Random banter)
Loghain: so Sebastian, tell me, how strong is Starkhaven’s relationship with Orlais?
Sebastian: my city is comfortably neutral with the Orlesians, we have strong trade routes over the borders and we have yet to come to any major conflict over recent years, why do you ask?
Loghain: if it ever came to it would Ferelden have Starkhaven’s support on the occasion of another Orlesian invasion?
Sebastian: Starkhaven is a mere city state compared to Ferelden, the best we’d have to offer are troops but not our entire army
Loghain: that wasn’t my question, would Ferelden have Starkhaven’s support when Orlais tries another invasion
Sebastian: you seem all too sure that Orlais will try to conquer your country again
Loghain: I’m more than just sure, it is only a matter of time before Orlais marches on Ferelden again and I would like to know whether Starkhaven will be our allies or our enemies
Sebastian: we’ll just have to see if Orlais actually invades again and on what terms, either way I’m sure my home will remain neutral in the conflict
Loghain: that wasn’t the answer I was hoping for
Sebastian: well it’s the one I’m giving you

(Random banter in a Chantry)
Loghain: do you honestly believe I’m redeemable Sebastian?
Sebastian: of course, everyone is redeemable in the eyes of Andraste and the Maker as long as they’re truly sincere
Loghain: that is….good to here
Sebastian: having troubles of the conscience Loghain?
Loghain: I had to do what I did in the battle against the Darkspawn but what if the Maker sees it in the way everyone else does? What if I’m branded a murderer for trying to save my country? Becoming a Grey Warden has laid a death sentence on my head and what if serving isn’t enough to redeem my soul?
Sebastian: you can only wait and see Loghain, I cannot speak for the Maker, I can only pray for you if you’d like
Loghain: I’m sure you already do
If DA: Origins and DA2 characters worked together
The fifteenth of what I hope will be several of fan made dialogue scripts between the DA: origins and DA2 followers

This time it's Loghain and Sebastian, a very short one this time as I don't see Loghain and Sebastian talking all that much
Deadliest warriors of all history

Postal Dude vs Hatred Guy

Postal Dude info:

Height: Roughly 6 foot

Weight: Roughly 170lbs

Weapons: M16, Pistol, Machete, Molotov Cocktails, Scissors

Strengths: Skilled in most weapons. Uncaring for human life allowing him to show no mercy to those who attack him.

Weakness: Like all humans Postal Dude can only take so much damage before dying.

Hatred Guy info:

Height: 6 foot 4

Weight: Roughly 220 pounds

Weapons: AK-47, Pistol, Combat Knife, Grenades, Flamethrower

Strengths: Skilled in several different kinds of firearms and ballistic weaponry. Extremely high pain tolerance allowing him to barely react to most gunshots. Possesses a burning hatred of all life allowing him to never show mercy no matter who he is killing.

Weaknesses: Hatred Guy has one goal in life, to die and take as many people as possible with him, this means he is completely uncaring for his own life and makes no effort to defend himself when he is attacked simply fighting back as the bullets rain through him.

Battle begin!

“Once again your Pit-bull Terrier by the name of Champ has been claimed by Paradise Pound, if he is not picked up and the fine paid by the end of the day he will be put to sleep, yadda yadda yadda five hundred dollars, really should have used stronger stuff for his leash” Postal Dude muttered to himself reading the red pen lettered notice he had received through his letter box as he walked through the Mall to get to the Pound. This was the third time Champ had been caught this month and that was probably why the fine was so high this time forcing him to run several odd jobs that morning just to raise up enough funds.

Whistling as he reached the pound he shoved the door open pulling out the wad of ten dollar bills he had in his pockets “me again Greta, I’m here to pick up Champ again, he chewed straight through the belt I had used to tie him up, gonna use a chain next time I promise” he called out not paying attention to his surroundings as he counted the money until he tripped on something nearly landing flat on his face “what the fuck?”.

Looking down Postal Dude grimaced when he found that he had tripped over a bullet ridden body, the look of terror and agony still fresh on the man’s face “what the hell happened here?” he pondered glancing up to realize that the entire place had been shot to hell, bullet holes riddling every wall and surface along with dozens of corpses littering the floor “looks like someone had a bad day, wonder if those Al-Qaeda boys are acting up again” he added drawing his Pistol before he headed deeper into the Pound.

“No! Please don’t! Please!”

“Shut the fuck up maggot!” Hatred Guy snarled as he unloaded the last bullet in his AK magazine into the cowering receptionists head sneering with disgust as her brains splattered against the walls “filthy worthless worms” he spat in contempt as he reloaded his Assault Rifle. Having continued his rampage outside of his home town Hatred Guy had stumbled upon the town of Paradise and found its name deliciously ironic deciding to turn it into a living hell for all its inhabitants. Holstering his AK he turned to find one of the men he had shot when he stormed in trying desperately to crawl away making him growl with fury drawing his Combat Knife as he marched over to his victim, grabbing the man by his hair he dragged him up pressing the Knife to his throat.

“Somebody has issues” Postal Dude quipped as he walked in drawing Hatred Guy’s attention making him growl as he heartlessly slit his victims throat.

“Another worthless parasite”.

“Oh you’re funny, my old man used to call me that all the time, he’s dead now” Postal Dude retorted with a threatening smirk cocking his Pistol as Hatred Guy shoved his victims corpse to the ground and stood to tower over Postal Dude “so there’s two ways we could do this, you can step aside so that I can pick up my dog or I fill you full of lead, your choice shithead”.

Gritting his teeth in annoyance at Postal Dude’s cocky arrogance the taller man proceeded to sheathe his Knife back into his belt. Taking the action as the larger man standing down Postal Dude lowered his Pistol moving to walk around Hatred Guy only for him to grab him by the throat in a vice like grip before charging him across the room slamming him against the wall drawing his own Pistol and aiming it at the smaller man’s head “you honestly thought I’d let a filthy piece of shit like you walk away still breathing?!” the larger man snarled pulling the hammer back on his weapon “any last words before I end your miserable fucking existence?”.

“Yeah, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Postal Dude quipped back firing a shot at Hatred Guy’s midsection skimming his side enough to make him recoil enough to move his weapon allowing Postal Dude the chance to Pistol whip the larger man hard across the brow making him stumble back with a loud curse. Deciding not to waste bullets on what seemed to be an easy kill with Hatred Guy gripping his forehead Postal Dude holstered his Pistol and draw his Machete from under his duster coat swinging it forward as Hatred Guy aimed his Pistol jamming the Blade straight through the Firearm rendering it useless as the muzzle shattered into pieces.

Letting out a frustrated growl Hatred Guy grabbed at Postal Dude’s arm as the smaller man swung again catching him by his forearm before the Machete could reach him, using his free arm he then redrew his Combat Knife taking a wild stab at the smaller man’s head only for him to duck out of the way causing the Blade to jam in to the wall nearly to the hilt “that’s it, struggle more, it just makes the kill all the more satisfying” Hatred Guy sneered wrenching his Knife out of the wall before throwing Postal Dude across the room causing him to crash into the Pounds waiting room’s chairs.

Postal Dude grunted with pain as he crashed through the chairs sending them flying hitting the floor hard “you are some kind of messed up” he groaned staggering to his feet and quickly swinging around with a Machete slash when he heard Hatred Guy marching towards him, his weapon just barely cutting across the larger man’s chest slicing through more shirt than skin. Grinning ferally Hatred Guy proceeded to grab Postal Dude by the throat again prompting the smaller man to slash at his arm to defend himself, jamming his Machete into the psychopath’s forearm causing him to exclaim with pain dropping the smaller man to draw his arm back ripping the Machete out of his flesh and throwing it aside.

Hitting the floor hard again Postal Dude quickly made a retreat drawing the several scissors he kept in his coat and throwing them at Hatred Guy as the larger man sheathed his Knife again and redrew his AK-47. Cackling wildly the large gothic man rained bullets at Postal Dude as he scrambled away, littering the walls with more holes firing wildly at his target “you can’t run forever maggot!” he roared as Postal Dude took refuge in a nearby supply room

“I’m not trying to run asshole” Postal Dude spat back as he drew a Molotov from under his coat along with his lighter igniting the vodka soaked rag and hurling it around the corner of the supply closets doorway gasping as a bullet nicked his arm as he did so. Hearing the tell-tale shatter of the Molotov shattering Postal Dude waited in hopes of hearing Hatred Guy burning to death but only constant gun fire rang through the air before suddenly stopping. Had he simply kept firing whilst he burned? That question was soon answered when a Grenade was thrown into the room “shit!”.

Diving to the other side of the storage room Postal Dude braced himself for the explosion, curling up into a tight ball in the corner covering his ears the Grenade went off destroying nearly everything on the shelves showering him in debris. With loud ringing in his ears Postal Dude quickly rose back to his feet dusting himself off and drawing the M16 Assault Rifle he had strapped to his back cocking it in preparation for shooting back. When he turned the corner out of the supply room though Postal Dude nearly received a scolding blast of fire straight to his face making him realize that Hatred Guy had ran out of AK-47 ammo and had now changed to his even more formidable weapon, a large two tanked Flamethrower that had been strapped to his back which Hatred Guy now wielded with a manic grin on his face “burn you fucking worm!” Hatred Guy bellowed sending another stream of flames at Postal Dude forcing him back into the other room for cover.

“Mother fucker!” Postal Dude cursed as he found himself trapped in the supply closet, glancing around he luckily found a back door at the other side of the room shooting off the lock before kicking it open to bail out back onto the Mall’s floor outside the Pound. He could have just ran right then and there to ensure his survival but he couldn’t just leave Champ to his fate, circling back to the entrance of the Pound Postal Dude found Hatred Guy making his way to where the animals were kept obviously enraged by the constant noise coming from that direction.

Raising his M16 Postal Dude fired several rounds at Hatred Guy hitting him a couple of times in the shoulders with the rest narrowly missing although one managed to nick one of the tubes of his Flamethrower causing gas to steadily escape. “So the worm refuses to lay in the dirt and die” Hatred Guy spat before turning around and charging at Postal Dude blasting flames as he did so, the damaged pipe causing the Flamethrower to malfunction slightly putting out much smaller flames because of the reduced gas flow allowing Postal Dude to simply back track out of the way firing back wildly in retaliation.

Grunting as several bullets struck him in the arms and sides Hatred Guy proceeded to dump his Flamethrower deeming it useless before drawing his Combat Knife and launching himself at Postal Dude as he reloaded, barrelling him over causing him to drop his M16 to grab the larger man’s arm as he tried to stab down into his head. Straining against Hatred’s guys much stronger arm Postal Dude began to sweat heavily as his Knife steadily got closer to his head gritting his teeth as he felt the tip of the Blade press against the skin of his forehead. Feeling his arm weaken Postal Dude scrambled his free hand around to try to find anything to fight back with eventually grabbing hold of a pair of Scissors he had thrown earlier stabbing it wildly into Hatred Guy’s shoulder before jamming it into his neck, not deep enough to cut the jugular but enough to make the taller man recoil in pain allowing Postal Dude to kick him off with a strong boot to the stomach.

The escape plan quickly proved to be far from perfect though as soon as Postal Dude rolled over to get back onto his feet he felt the piercing agony of the Combat Knife being driven into the back of his leg “fucker!” he snapped starting to kick at Hatred Guys face until he finally recoiled back again only for the larger man to drag him back and force him onto his back raising his Knife up high. Grabbing Postal Dude by the throat Hatred Guy readied his Blade over his head again to end his life when loud frantic barking drew his attention back to the Pound, he had thought that he had slaughtered all the animals along with the people but turning his head he noticed in the doorway to the back one cage remained with a Pitbull Terrier inside.


Snarling at his mistake Hatred Guy proceeded to drive his Knife into Postal Dude’s shoulder making the smaller man exclaim in pain before rising to his feet “you can die slowly” he growled convinced that the wound he had inflicted was enough to make his victim bleed out as he started to walk back into the Pound drawing another Grenade from his trench coat “the mongrel can die first”.

“Get the fuck away from my dog!” Postal Dude barked as he forced himself to sit up pulling out another Molotov and lighting it before throwing it at Hatred Guys back. The flaming bottle hitting the larger man square between the shoulders causing his coat to burst into flames instantly making Hatred Guy cry out with agony as his skin immediately started to burn and smoulder.

His cry of pain didn’t last long though as it quickly turned to cold maniacal laughter “so this is what it’s like to burn” he chuckled darkly turning back to Postal Dude spreading his arms wide “you’re giving me what I fucking want, you’re merely preparing me for Hell” he sneered pulling the pin of his Grenade “and you can come to Hell with me!”.

Just as he was about to launch himself at Postal Dude to kill them both with the Grenade Champ threw himself at his cage door shattering the old lock before charging at the psychopath, jumping up to bite down on his arm forcing him to drop the Grenade which went off a few feet away after hitting the ground sending Hatred Guy flying across the room along with Champ. “Champ!” Postal Dude cried out seeing his Dog hit the wall hard before falling in a heap on the floor, ignoring the sharp pain in his leg he forced himself up to his feet dragging the Combat Knife out of his shoulder before lunging at Hatred Guy as he staggered to his feet.

Impacting hard against Hatred Guys back Postal Dude barely made the larger man stumble before he didn’t care, stabbing wildly at his enemies neck and shoulders making the psychopath curse and snarl with pain and fury reaching back and grabbing at him “this is what you get for hurting my dog!” Postal Dude growled aiming to ram the Blade into the back of Hatred Guys skull only for the larger man to reach back just in time to block the stab getting the Knife straight through his hand making him exclaim and elbow Postal Dude hard in the side sending him flying off of him.

Wrenching the Knife out of his hand Hatred Guy tossed it aside as the Blade broke off from the hard pull turning around to find his dropped AK-47 laying just outside the Pounds doorway. Deciding that his target had been breathing long enough he made his way towards the Rifle only to exclaim as a bullet tore through his shoulder shortly followed by another one blasting itself way through his knee cap sending him crashing to the floor. Upon landing Postal Dude had luckily been thrown right next to his discarded Pistol and was now unloading the rest of the clip as he rose to his feet firing bullet after bullet into Hatred Guy until the clip ran dry.

When the gunfire stopped Hatred guy spat out a wave of blood slowly collapsing to support himself on his elbow as his free hand held the bullet wounds on his stomach “so it finally ends” he wheezed rolling over to sit against the glass barrier that prevented people from falling over the edge to the floor below “at long last”. Coughing up another wave of blood Hatred Guy then let out a loud maniacal laugh grabbing the pins of his remaining Grenades pulling them all out to go out with as much destruction as possible.

“Oh no you fucking don’t!” Postal dude growled running up to deliver a powerful kick to Hatred Guy’s chest shattering the barrier behind him and sending him sailing over the edge to the floor below, his body hitting the ground with a sickening ‘crack!’ before his Grenades went off destroying his body in a fiery explosion. “Fucking psycho” Postal Dude spat over the edge onto the blackened mark that now stained the lower floor before turning to check on Champ, happy to find that the Dog had luckily survived and was now limping up to the edge where he stood cocking his leg to relieve himself onto the mark below “good boy”.

Winner: Postal Dude

Whilst Hatred Guy had sheer physical force behind him being taller and bulkier than the much slighter Postal Dude his suicidal nature prevented him from fighting smart whilst Postal Dude’s will to survive prevailed (I know you can suicide in Postal 2 but that’s not the goal of the game).
DWOAH: Postal Dude vs Hatred Guy
The fifteenth of my fan made Deadliest Warrior battles

In these I will be pitting my chosen warriors from all of history, be they real or fictional

The fifteenth battle: Postal Dude (Postal series) vs Hatred Guy (Hatred)
If Dragon age: origins and Dragon age 2 characters worked together banter

Loghain and Merrill

(After Loghain is recruited)
Loghain: so I am to work with both a Grey Warden and a Savage, the Maker must hold a grudge against me
Merrill: excuse me?
Loghain: I had thought the Dalish had known better than to interfere with human affairs but with you here it’s obvious that they’ve decided to get involved
Merrill: I am here out of my own choice, my own Clan is far away and safe from the Blight
(If the Warden sided with the Dalish or made peace between the Elves and the Werewolves)
Merrill: anyway the Warden/Mahariel has already recruited the help of the Dalish from the Brecilian Forest, surely you cannot turn down such aide simply because they’re Dalish
Loghain: as long as they know their place on the battlefield I will tolerate them
Merrill: my people are more civilized than you think
Loghain: that is yet to be seen
(If the Warden sided with the Werewolves against the Dalish)
Loghain: well it seems that the Warden him/herself knew not to trust your kind, although I can’t say the beasts he/she sided with are much better
Merrill: Zathrian was causing his own Clans suffering through his own stubbornness and hatred, though I cannot approve of the Warden’s/Mahariel’s actions I cannot say anything in Zathrian’s defence
Loghain: I’d rather you never say anything at all

(Random banter)
Loghain: so you’re a savage and a Malificar, just wonderful
Merrill: are you talking to me?
Loghain: I don’t see any other Blood Magic using, Demon worshipping savages around
Merrill: I don’t worship Demons! I just don’t fear them
(If Merrill’s personal quest hasn’t been completed)
Merrill: anyway I’ve found one willing to help mortals so not all Demons are evil
Loghain: I highly doubt that
(If Merrill’s personal quest has been completed)
Merrill: I’ve dealt with a Demon before, I know now not to trust them
Loghain: I’ve heard, at the cost of your precious Keeper, at least now you’re at least a slightly less detriment to the group
Merrill: *shocked gasp*
(If Varric is in the group)
Varric: enough Greasy, I mean it
(If Carver is in the party)
Carver: one more word Loghain, just one more I dare you
(If Isabela is in the party)
Isabela: soft spot Loghain, stop it
Loghain: *scoffs*

(Random banter)
Merrill: why do you hate Elves Loghain?
Loghain: they ask inane questions to start
Merrill: you can’t hate all Elves simply because I ask questions
Loghain: Elves have got it in their heads that they deserves as much as humans whilst making it blatantly obvious that they had no wish of coexisting peacefully among us, they either whine constantly about being ‘second class’ or swan around acting like they’re the Makers gift to the world
Merrill: surely not every Elf you’ve met has acted in such a way
Loghain: let’s have a look at our Elven ‘friends’ shall we, the Antivan tries to have sex with everything that moves, me included after the other Dwarf let him try one of his alcoholic mixtures the other night, Fenris refuses to shut up about how he used to be a slave and then there’s you, a deluded little Malificar who misguided grandeur about reclaiming your kinds great past
(If the Warden is Dalish)
Loghain: and also there’s the Warden who….well she’s a Warden so there’s very little positive I can say about her
Merrill: I don’t know why I try talking to you
Loghain: neither do I

(Random banter after Varric points out Loghain’s hair)
Merrill: have you thought about doing something with your hair Loghain?
Loghain: you’ve been speaking to the Dwarf again haven’t you?
Merrill: of course I’ve been talking to Varric, he’s my friend
Loghain: that’s not what I meant Savage, I meant…oh why bother?
Merrill: I was thinking that maybe with a few more braids it would really tidy your hair up
Loghain: my braids are fine as they are
Merrill: maybe a couple of flowers? I put some daisies in Sten’s hair once and it brightened his appearance right up
(If Sten is in the party)
Sten: I only participated in such actions to prevent town’s people from fearing me so it would be easier to gain supplies
Merrill: yes of course that’s the reason *whispers* he enjoyed it, he smiled, it was creepy
Loghain: you are not putting flowers in my hair
Merrill: can I at least comb it?
Loghain: no
Merrill: but….
Loghain: no!
Merrill: *sighs* ok, if you say so

(Random banter in the Brecilian forest)
Loghain: *disgusted noise*
Merrill: is something the matter Loghain?
Loghain: how could you Elves live in such a manner?
Merrill: well for one we normally avoid the piles of Halla droppings
Loghain: but the dirt everywhere, the insects, it’s intolerable
Merrill: I thought you fought at the River Dane? That’s what I was told, wasn’t it dirty there?
Loghain: yes but that was a battlefield, everyone was too focused on killing their enemy than on how much filth was coating their bodies, here you live in this
Merrill: the Dalish don’t spend their days rolling naked in the mud Loghain, we are quite civilized if you took a moment to look into our culture
Loghain: I’d rather not get involved in such matters, Dalish and human relations are strained for a reason
Merrill: because humans are unwilling to reach out to us
Loghain: yes and the countless human bodies riddled with Dalish Arrows aren’t a factor at all
Merrill: you’re impossible to talk to
Loghain: and yet you still try
If DA: Origins and DA2 characters worked together
The fourteenth of what I hope will be several of fan made dialogue scripts between the DA: origins and DA2 followers

This time it's Loghain and Merrill, with Merrill being Merrill she would of course try to be nice to Loghain who obviously has a poor opinion of Elves since he approves of Alienages and is more than willing to have slavers work in Ferelden if they only target Elves so would obviously be not so nice back
Deadliest warriors of all history

Ezio vs Agent 47

Ezio Auditore info:

Height: Roughly 6 foot

Weight: Roughly 160lbs

Weapons: Dual Hidden blades, Gauntlet Gun, Crossbow, Sword, Bare hands, Anything he can grab

Strengths: Out of all of Desmond’s ancestors Ezio is the most renowned for his assassination skills, whether it be sneaking in to end a targets life with his Hidden blades, kill from afar with his Crossbow or get down and dirty with one on one/group combat with his Sword Ezio excelled in everything to do with killing.

Weakness: Whilst able to outdo nearly anyone from his time in melee combat it was because he was used to them fighting like clumsy brawlers allowing him to easily outstep their moves meaning that anyone with any real skill in hand to hand combat could match or outdo Ezio.

Agent 47 info:

Height: 6 foot 2

Weight: Roughly 180 pounds

Weapons: Fibre wire garrotte, Dual Silverballer pistols, W2000 Sniper rifle, Bare hands, Anything he can grab

Strengths: Bred from the DNA of the five most nefarious villains and war criminals on the planet Agent 47 for bred and trained for only one purpose, murder. Being the only being in the world to have the fabled forty seventh chromosome Agent 47 is able to react faster than any human, is physically stronger and faster than most people on Earth and has a near genius IQ allowing him to plan out his assassinations and escape routes perfectly.

Weaknesses: Whilst he was bred to be Agent 47 is far from perfect requiring armour to withstand bullets and despite his above human strength he has been overpowered and knocked out in the past.

Battle begin!

“Your target is a middle aged Italian male by the name of Ezio Auditore de Firenze, he is commonly seen in a white robe and is highly skilled in the art of assassination, maybe as skilled at you 47, keep that in mind and good luck”

Diana’s message echoed through 47’s mind as he continued to scan the crowd through the scope of his W2000 Sniper Rifle, according to his sources Ezio was last seen near the Coliseum in Rome and naturally he had chosen the very top floor he could reach of the grand arena to set up his post. Adjusting the Rifle’s sight he scanned the faces of every man he could find with a white hood to see if they matched the photo he had been emailed of his target.

Feeling eyes on the back of his head 47 put it to the security guard he had knocked out and bound as he entered his chosen post making a mental note to take care of him when his job was done. Tightening his finger on the trigger the assassin focused on a man he had picked out in the crowd double checking his facial hair before he fired his weapon.


Upon hearing the sound of Blades being drawn behind him 47 whirled around raising his Rifle in time to block the first of Ezio’s Hidden Blades as it dug into the wood of the gun before turning his head to avoid the other Blade causing it to scrape across the wall. “Agent 47 i presume?” Ezio smirked making 47’s eyebrow twitch in annoyance as he nodded in response “always nice to meet a target before I end you end his life, wouldn’t you agree?” Ezio greeted as he withdrew his blades from 47’s weapon jumped back and bowing in an almost mocking fashion “Ezio Auditore, though I assume you already knew my name”.

“Names are for friends so you don’t need it” 47 responded coldly as he climbed to his feet placing his Rifle against the wall deeming it unnecessary in such close quarters, his blunt response seeming to amuse Ezio as the Assassins lip quirked as he watched 47 fix his leather gloves.

“So cold, you really wish for your life to end on that kind of note? Very well then” Ezio sighed retracting his Hidden Blades to draw his Sword “I promise to make this quick” he added before dashing forward with his weapon poised to end 47’s life as quick as possible.

Anticipating his move 47 swiftly side stepped Ezio’s lunge; bringing his hand down hard on his wrist he forced the Assassin to drop the weapon before delivering a swift kick to his gut. Winded Ezio reeled back raising his arm to block a sucker punch that was aimed for his head “huh….you’re more skilled than I had expected” Ezio admitted laughing lightly at the stern look 47 gave him from the comment “at least you’ll have my respect when you die”

“I doubt that” 47 replied flatly driving his free fist towards Ezio’s gut only to have it blocked by the Assassin’s other hand “the dying part on my behalf I mean, you however will not have my respect” he added in a chilling tone before pushing back and drawing his Dual Silverballers.

Upon seeing the Pistols being drawn and aimed at him Ezio dived to a side as 47 opened fire, bullets narrowly skimming his side cutting through his clothing and grazing his skin making the Assassin grunt with pain as he hit the ground hard. Keeping himself low and out of the Hitman’s line of sight Ezio reached back to draw his Crossbow cocking a bolt and taking aim before firing it straight at 47’s shoulder.

As the bolt shot through the air and collided with his shoulder 47 let out a loud grunt of pain recoiling slightly before righting himself keeping one gun aimed at Ezio as he used the other to pull the bolt out of his flesh “effective but primitive” the Hitman commented as he dropped the bolt to the floor and kicked aside one of the large bullet riddled crates that Ezio had taken covered behind only finding empty space and bullet holes.

“Effective enough to kill you” Ezio’s voice echoed along the stone walls along the creak of his crossbows wire pulling taught before releasing sending another bolt soaring through the air and into 47’s other shoulder making him hiss with pain again. Like before though the wound did nothing to slow 47 down as the Assassin turned to open fire at where the bolt had come from glimpsing Ezio diving away from the corner of his eye.

Scowling with annoyance at Ezio’s constant dodging of his bullets 47 reloaded his Pistols and set up in a brisk pace in the direction the Assassin had fled to, his eyes constantly scanning his surroundings whilst listening to every faint sound he could pick up. Walking through a doorway 47 felt the familiar burn on the back of his neck feeling like he was being watch turning quickly onto the find nothing there before exclaiming as he felt the agonizing pain of a blade entering his thigh making him fall to one knee hard.

Smirking arrogantly believing that he had the kill claimed Ezio readied his other Hidden Blade only to have the air knocked from his lungs as 47 spun around and elbowed him harshly in the gut making the Assassin double over before he suffered a brutal headbutt to the face. “Figlio di Troia!” Ezio cursed covering his now broken nose with one hand whilst aiming his Gauntlet Gun with the other, before he could fire though 47 grabbed him by the wrist using it to heave him over his shoulder and slam him hard into the floor Pistol whipping him hard across the face before aiming his Silverballer point blank in Ezio’s face.

As 47 readied the trigger Ezio countered him again rolling back to knee the Hitman hard in the head before rolling out of the way causing 47 to shoot at the floor. With 47 reeling back Ezio steadied himself back on his feet drawing his Sword and rushing his opponent aiming to skewer 47 with a single blow, to his dismay and anger though 47 seemed to be two steps ahead of him swinging one of his Pistols using the stock of it to knock the Blade away as Ezio thrust it forward before using his other Silverballer to Pistol whip the Assassin’s arm forcing him to drop the Sword to which in turn Ezio struck out at 47’s arms causing him to drop his guns.

Both know relatively unarmed 47 and Ezio readied a fighting stance, 47 standing slightly cock eyed on his wounded leg forcing him to stay mainly on the defensive as Ezio went for full offense. The sounds of their blows and blocks echoing throughout the stone corridors, Ezio’s face portraying a confident grin whilst 47’s retained its natural stony expression. Delivering a strong side jab to the Hitman’s ribs Ezio sent a powerful left hook towards his chest only for 47 to side step and grab hold of his wrist twisting it hard until a sickening snap echoed down the hall “Cazzo!” the Assassin cried out recoiling back clutching his now broken wrist.

Hopping back to evade a another hit from the Hitman Ezio drew out a Smoke Bomb dropping it between them to stun 47 with a quick blast of acrid smoke to cover his retreat. Shielding his eyes from the smoke 47 growled as he found himself once again on the hunt drawing out his Fibre Wire and beginning to prowl after the wounded Assassin holding a hand in front of his eyes to keep them protected from the smoke.

It wasn’t long though before Ezio went back on the offensive using the smoke to sneak up on 47 unsheathing his Hidden Blade and ramming it into his side where it should have pierced his lung, instead of the Hitman recoiling from the attack and crumpling to the floor like countless men before him had done that Blade strangely stopped short of full penetration with a dull ‘thud’ leaving Ezio wide open as 47 hit him back with a strong elbow to the chest. Winded from the hit Ezio stumbled back before being struck several more times forcing him down to one knee to which 47 moved behind him winding his Fibre Wire around the Assassin’s throat pulling it tight to cut off his air.

Hacking as his throat was forcibly closed Ezio tried his best to fight back, his broken wrist rendering one arm useless as he reached up to swipe at 47’s face with the other to no effect. Planting a foot on the Assassin’s back 47 pulled harder on the Wire gritting his teeth with exertion, most of the time when he used the Wire the kill only took roughly ten seconds as his strength allowed him to completely crush someone’s windpipe and even snap their neck outright but Ezio was able to keep fighting long passed the minute mark.

Feeling his lungs burn as his vision started to fade Ezio realized that fighting back was doing nothing and that he had one chance to escape the Fibre Wire. Bringing his Hidden Blade down to his throat he started cutting at the Wire as it started to dig into his skin drawing blood “come on….come on….” 47 grunted starting to get annoyed by how long it was taking Ezio to die, his knuckles starting to ache from the force he was pulling into the pulling.

And then the Wire snapped.

Gasping for air as 47 stumbled back Ezio immediately went back on the attack bowling the Hitman over and pinning him down as he slammed his Blade into his chest over and over, the same dull thudding noise accompanying every stab making the Assassin growl with fury. As Ezio went wild on him 47 calmly reached for his Silverballer pressing the Pistol to Ezio’s chest making him freeze before he pulled the trigger.

One bullet after another tore through Ezio’s body until the clip ran dry, blood pouring from the Assassin’s mouth as 47 then proceeded to shove him off of him causing the Assassin to slump to the floor with an agonized wheeze. Rising to his feet 47 dusted himself off putting his Pistol back into its holster and correcting his tie whilst Ezio stared at him with shock “” Ezio wheezed hacking up blood to which 47 proceeded to undo the top two buttons of his jacket pulling it open to reveal his stab ridden Kevlar Vest, his vitals all protected from Ezio’s Blade.

Moments later the Assassin let out his last breath, the light leaving his eyes completely to which 47 simply turned around turning on his communicator “Diana, the target has been dealt with”.

“Good job 47, the money has already been transferred to your account, we’ll be in contact when your services are needed again”.

Winner: Agent 47

Ezio may be the finest Assassin that ever came out of the Brotherhood but Agent 47 was literally born to kill. His enhanced strength, speed and intelligence would always set him one step ahead of Ezio as well as his more modern weaponry putting him leagues above Ezio’s borderline middle age era weapons.
DWOAH: Ezio vs Agent 47
The fourteenth of my fan made Deadliest Warrior battles

In these I will be pitting my chosen warriors from all of history, be they real or fictional

The fourteenth battle: Ezio Auditore da Firenze (Assassin's Creed) vs Agent 47 (Hitman)


Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
United Kingdom
Hey everyone I'm Adam :). I joined this site to enjoy many peoples artwork as I lack the skills and equipment to produce real art myself. I live by generally liberal beliefs as in peace to all mankind and all that, quote facism to me and I will raise hell. So I hope to enjoy many pictures and webcomics on this great site and if anybody reading this makes an artwork I like you'll hear from me ;).

Current Residence: Hull, England
Favourite genre of music: Metal
Favourite style of art: Fanart and webcomics
Favourite cartoon character: Gir from Invader Zim
Personal Quote: "Whenever I open my mouth complete and utter bollocks seems to fly out"

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